


When a Black Cat Crosses Your Path...

by newdog14



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Maribat - Fandom, Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Cat Marinette, Chaos, Domestic Batfamily (DCU), Fluff and Humor, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Magic, Magical Marinette, Magical Shenanigans, MariBat, Maribat March, Marinette is having a very bad day, Mockery, Oblivious Batfamily, Rated for swearing, but then it kinda went wild, this was supposed to be short, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-25 00:14:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30080520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/newdog14/pseuds/newdog14
Summary: Sometimes Marinette hated magic. Or, no, that wasn’t right. Magic wasn’t what was at fault here, and the absence of it wouldn’t fix all her problems, only change the nature of them. The real problem was her best friends, who were constantly arguing and trying to one-up each other, with no regard for the casualties of their competitions. Marinette adored Chloé and Félix, they were the siblings she’d never had and she wouldn’t trade them for anything, but she did wish that they would be more considerate about how and where they argued.Or, at the very least, they could try to limit the casualties to the two of them.For Maribat March Day 16: Magic
Relationships: Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug & Damian Wayne, Stephanie Brown & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 20
Kudos: 186
Collections: Maribat March





	When a Black Cat Crosses Your Path...

Sometimes Marinette hated magic. Or, no, that wasn’t right. _Magic_ wasn’t what was at fault here, and the absence of it wouldn’t fix all her problems, only change the nature of them. The real problem was her best friends, who were constantly arguing and trying to one-up each other, with no regard for the casualties of their competitions. Marinette _adored_ Chloé and Félix, they were the siblings she’d never had and she wouldn’t trade them for anything, but she did wish that they would be more considerate about how and where they argued.

Or, at the very least, they could try to limit the casualties to the two of them. Perhaps this was her fault, for not putting her foot down after the last time the pair had turned magic practice into a battle of wills, but in her defense their last accident had been _much_ less disastrous. And really, Kagami’s displeasure with their having turned her hair neon green had seemed like punishment enough at the time, but clearly the lesson hadn’t sunk in yet.

Because this? This situation she was in right now? It couldn’t be worse. Marinette didn’t even know what spells they’d combined to make a mess this big, let alone how to _reverse_ it. This was such a disaster it wasn’t even funny. She was having such a bad day, she kept thinking it couldn’t _possibly_ get worse, and the universe was consistently proving her wrong. She should never have gotten out of bed today. She’d just known that something was going to happen.

“Hey there, little one...it’s okay, I won’t hurt you.”

She really should have listened to her instincts.

* * *

Marinette’s mornings had never been particularly orderly. She was the absolute antithesis of a morning person, and getting up was a bit of an uphill battle for her most days. Today was worse than usual for several reasons: the first being that she had been forced to get up even earlier than usual in order to make her meeting with Clara, the second being that her insomnia had kicked up the previous night and made sleeping impossible, the third being that she’d slept through four alarms and now didn’t have time to make herself coffee, and the fourth being the overwhelming sense of dread that had enveloped her the moment she opened her eyes.

This was a bad morning to rival all bad mornings, and while Marinette did manage to push her way through it and arrive only a few minutes late for her meeting with Clara, it certainly set the tone for her day. Marinette loved Clara, designing for the popstar was a wonderful opportunity by all accounts, but the woman was horribly indecisive and prone to last minute changes in the name of art, and that did make her difficult to work with.

Marinette did manage to talk Clara down from completely overhauling the entire aesthetic of her next music video, but it had been a long, exhausting conversation that had required more coffee than Marinette had had. Which is to say any coffee, since she hadn’t gotten her usual morning pot. By the time the meeting was over she was dead on her feet, but her day was long from over, seeing as she had university classes to attend. 

Marinette had thankfully managed to get _some_ caffeine before going to classes, but it was the crappy coffee that came from a vending machine in the basement of the art department. Better than nothing, sure, but so not what she needed to turn this day around. Marinette loved her fashion courses, but they were hard work, and by the end of her final class all she wanted was to go home, get food, and then pass out.

But alas, that wasn’t an option because she had one more engagement to get to: dinner and magic training with her team. It was something they got together to do whenever they could, starting after Hawkmoth’s defeat. Being a full time miraculous holder meant being able to do a whole lot more if you were willing to learn, and the members of her team who had chosen to continue working with the miraculous were all happy to grow their skills however they could.

She didn’t get to keep all of her old teammates, but Alix, Kagami, Luka, and Chloé had all decided to join her new Order of the Guardians. She’d been sad to lose Adrien, but after everything that had come out about his family and their history with the miraculous she understood his decision to renounce the ring. After that she’d worked with Plagg to locate a new Black Cat, and that search had led them to Félix.

The new team wasn’t perfect, unfortunately. They were all busy people in their civilian lives, which meant the time they had for team bonding was fairly limited, but for the most part they all worked fairly well together. With the notable exception of Félix and Chloé, who could not seem to go five minutes without picking a fight with each other unless there was a crisis. Part of it was that Chloé hadn’t wanted to see Adrien replaced, Marinette knew, but mostly she thought the problem was that they were too similar. They both always needed to feel in control as civilians, and neither of them were very good at expressing themselves outside of mean comments and sarcasm.

As it was, Marinette didn’t pay much heed to the inevitable argument that broke out, nor was she distressed by Alix fanning the flames for her own amusement. Kagami and Luka were ignoring the fight too, instead working on their own spells of choice; Kagami was trying to make a shield, and Luka was practicing portals. Marinette herself was focused entirely on a scrying spell, and she was slightly too used to the arguing or her friends to really pay them any heed. 

So imagine her surprise, when the words being shouted changed from insults to incantations, and before she could blink there were rogue spells being aimed in every direction. Kagami tried to intervene by putting up a shield between the two blondes, but that only caused a ricochet that sent the magical blasts at Marinette and Luka instead. Whatever the spells had been, they didn’t blend well together, and before Marinette could blink she was faced with an explosion of magical energy.

She closed her eyes as she flinched back, having no idea how the spells might interact with each other or even which spells were mingling. Magic had rules for a reason, and that reason was that if you broke said rules there really was no telling what the outcome would be. Magical accidents had varied, unpredictable consequences that didn’t always line up with the intended consequences of the spell you were trying to cast, and when there were multiple spells involved?

Well, one could end up with neon green hair for a day. Or one could end up transported to an unfamiliar alleyway, feeling unfamiliarly small, with no sign of the people you’d previously been with.

Marinette took a moment to take in her surroundings when she opened her eyes, there was so much changed that she wasn’t quite sure how to process it. She thought she was in a city, but it was nothing like Paris, it was dark and smoggy and everything was so _big_. She started to swear, only to freeze at the angry hiss that reverberated in her chest instead. 

There was a puddle in the alleyway, and she approached it with horror, already suspecting what she might see when she checked her reflection. She was too small, she couldn’t speak, and she was pretty sure she was walking on four legs. The puddle confirmed her worst fears, looking back at her was _not_ the reflection she’d known and grown comfortable with over the last 22 years; rather, she was faced with a terrified looking black cat with bright blue eyes and no other identifying features. 

The distressed noise that escaped her did nothing to make her feel better about this situation. In fact, given that it further cemented her situation as having been turned into a cat, it made things much worse. 

_Oh merde. What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?_

She curled in on herself in her panic, which only served to bring her _tail_ to her attention. Oh god, she was a cat. She was a cat in an unfamiliar city, with no way of knowing whether or not her friends were okay. What if they were also cats? If they’d all been turned into animals there’d be no one to ever know what had happened to them. No one to fix things. She could very well be a cat forever.

 _No. No. Nope. Shut that thought down._ Marinette forcibly stopped her spiral, breaking out her finely honed repression skills and emptying her mind. She needed to stay calm and think logically. She took a deep breath and focused her energies. She couldn’t speak, but she did still seem to have her magic, so she could hopefully manage a few nonverbal spells. Hopefully.

She breathed deeply again, pushing the fear away. She looked at the puddle, it wasn’t ideal for scrying, but it was the best thing she had on hand, so she focused on the still water and went over her scrying spell. The warehouse they used to practice magic appeared before her, and she could see several panicking kwami, but none of her friends. Not good, but not definitive of anything but that her friends had left the room.

She shifted her focus to Luka, and the scene shifted until she could see her friend. He was walking through a very old looking Middle Eastern city, though she had no idea where he was. At least he was still human? He also seemed to have his phone, and was rapidly typing. She left her focus shift to Alix next, and found the girl taking photos of an unfamiliar city. The signs looked like they were in Japanese, but Marinette had no idea where in Japan her friend might have looked. Her focus shifted once more, and she found that Kagami had landed in what was definitely San Francisco, Chloé appeared to be in Venice, and Félix was in a very colorful marketplace in what looked like India, based on the clothing of the locals, but she couldn’t tell much more than that.

So her friends were all safe, and all human, which meant that hopefully they would be able to sort out their way home and then come rescue her. She wished she had a way to let them know where she was, but thanks to cellphones she hadn’t thought of learning magic for long distance communication as being all that important. Even if she _could_ have contacted them though, what would she have done? Meowed at them?

...she was very glad they were all safe and human, but why was she the only one who’d been turned into a cat? That was just so unfair. Not that she wanted them to be cats, or anything. Just that she would have also liked to be human. It would have made it easier to sort out her current location, and would have given her the means to contact her friends. 

She kept her spell shifting between her friends as they started a group call, but her scrying spell couldn’t tell her what any of them were saying. The price of nonverbal magic was a lack of audio, unfortunately, but she was pretty sure they were worried about their inability to reach her. Chloé and Félix looked particularly distraught. 

Marinette had been content to sit and watch her friends until they could get to her, but as it turned out the universe seemed to have other plans for her. These other plans arrived in the form of a low, angry growl. Marinette spun to see a very sickly looking stray dog, which was eyeing her with clear dislike. She felt her fur start to stand on end, which was a very odd feeling, and she knew she was doing that thing cats did where they puffed up to look bigger in the face of danger. The dog did not look impressed.

Marinette didn’t know if she could win a fight as a cat, and she didn’t really want to find out either, so she bolted toward the road ahead of her. The dog gave chase, but her running had thrown it off just enough to give her a head start. She couldn’t outrun the dog forever though, she needed to get to higher ground.

She dodged pedestrians as she ran through the streets, a courtesy the dog behind her did not share. People started swearing and yelling in what she was pretty sure was English, but their accents were very weird and she didn’t have the time to parse out what exactly they were saying. She was running at her top speed, looking for something, anything, to help her get away.

When she spotted a construction site ahead she knew she’d found her escape route, and she made a beeline for the busy area. The guard didn’t even notice her dash through the gate and into the building site, and Marinette ran right into the skeletal building without looking back. She could still hear barking behind her, so she didn’t look back to see how the dog was faring with the construction workers, instead focusing on climbing up and up and up as quickly as she could. 

The people working eventually caught sight of her, but she wasn’t about to be caught by strangers. The _last_ thing she needed was for someone to try and take her to the pound. Instead she kept running, ignoring the calls of the people trying to get her attention and dodging around the arms that reached down for her, at least until she found herself stuck at the highest level of the building. If she were human she might have been able to climb higher, but as a cat she wasn’t sure she wanted to test her ability to scale metal beams while this far from the ground.

But this construction site was in the middle of the city, it was surrounded by buildings and one was just slightly shorter than this one, and if there was one thing Marinette knew it was how to jump. So instead of stopping, she ran to the edge of the building and leapt the gap onto the next rooftop.

The construction workers were freaking out a bit, but she made the leap with ease, even if her landing was a bit of a mess. _So much for cats always land on their feet_.

Marinette finally gave herself a moment to slow down and breath, now that she was safe from strange humans and unfriendly dogs. She was tired, but she also had an energy buzzing under her skin. Did cats get adrenaline rushes? She was pretty sure that that was what this was. Ugh. She circled her new rooftop, trying to decide what to do.

Her friends were a bit distracted with being scattered across the globe, but Kagami at least knew how to scry. Eventually she’d remember that and start looking for Marinette. Possibly she already had. But if she did, Marinette sitting on a random, indistinct rooftop wouldn’t help them find her. She needed a landmark.

She scanned what parts of the city she could see, but nothing caught her eye except for the exceedingly high number of gargoyles. _Where the hell was she?_

Marinette didn’t know what to do, stay where she was or move on? She supposed there was no point in staying; if her friends tracked the portal that had sent her here they’d wind up back in the alleyway, and she had no idea how to get back to it. Now that she’d left and lost that spot there was no point trying to stay in one place. But running off in a random direction felt unwise, even if she was already hopelessly lost.

Her decision was made for her when a whistle blew, bringing her attention back to the construction workers, who she noticed were now trying to work out a way to get to her. She couldn’t be caught by people, there were too many unknowns in that. So Marinette scanned the rooftops around her to try and plan out her next few jumps, and then set off in an essentially random direction.

Four buildings later and she had mostly figured out how to land as a cat, and she was getting a little more comfortable with her balance. She was just thinking that maybe things wouldn’t be so bad after all when she heard the thunder in the distance. She’d noticed that the sky had been getting darker, but she’d sort of been hoping that was just the sun going down. But looking up again she was pretty sure it was going to start raining soon.

 _Merde._ She needed shelter and she needed it _fast_ , but the rooftops were just so barren. _Ugh_.

Marinette scanned the nearby roofs again, now just looking for a place that had cover, instead of for something that might tell her where she was. Eventually she did spot it, though she wasn’t totally sure what ‘it’ actually was. Some kind of search light, maybe?

It didn’t matter, because the thunder crashed again, closer this time, and she was desperate. So Marinette ran and jumped the remaining distance until she reached the roof with a giant spotlight mounted to it. She didn’t get a chance to investigate further though, as the rain came down suddenly and it was all she could do to bolt under the relative safety of the oversized lamp.

Marinette curled up in her hiding place as the rain came down around her. She was mostly protected, but she was still getting wet, and it was cold, and all she really wanted to do was cry. Could cats cry? She was about three seconds from finding out. Stupid, awful magic. Stupid argumentative friends. She didn’t understand why the universe felt the need to punish _her_ for Chloé and Félix’s inability to get along. 

As if hearing her complaint, the universe decided to answer her by making things worse. She could just hear the rooftop door opening, and she watched as someone’s feet approached the light. She figured out what was happening mere seconds before it did, and she suddenly found herself losing her relatively dry spot as the lamp was shifted and turned on. Marinette bolted away, hoping the man hadn’t seen her, and took cover under a ventilation shaft instead. It was a smaller, much less dry space, but even over the course of the maybe three seconds she’d been out in the open she’d already been soaked to the bone. 

She shivered in her hiding place, trying to stay quiet as the man stood by the light. She couldn’t see what he was pointing it at from her current angle, and she didn’t care enough to stick her head out and check, but she wished that whatever he was doing he’d do it a little faster. Minutes ticked by with nothing happening, until suddenly there was a second man standing by the light. She had no idea where he’d come from, but she was pretty sure she knew his silhouette. 

_Batman. That was totally Batman._

Well. She was pretty sure she knew where she was now, for all the good that did her. She was in the world’s most dangerous city, which was guarded by the world’s most territorial vigilante. If her friends showed up to Gotham in costume she had no idea what Batman would do about it, and unfortunately she had the sneaking suspicion that her dear friends would do just that, assuming they ever figured out where she was.

She hated this situation. It was bad. So bad she couldn’t imagine how it could possibly get worse. She was probably going to die of hypothermia, or something equally stupid, and then no one would ever learn what had happened to her. Situations like this were why magic had such a bad reputation, it was such a disaster it wasn’t even funny. She was having such a bad day, she kept thinking it couldn’t _possibly_ get worse, and the universe was consistently proving her wrong.

“Hey there, little one...it’s okay, I won’t hurt you.”

Marinette flattened herself against the vent, but it was too late. She’d been spotted by a teenage boy dressed in a familiar costume, who was crouched on the ground trying to lure her out. Her eyes darted about, desperately looking for an escape and finding none. He was too close, he had her boxed in.

“Psp psp psp,” Robin said, and it was a noise that made her want to run to him, which made no sense. She couldn’t be caught. She couldn’t get sent to the pound. He reached out toward her, slow and cautious and nonthreatening. She didn’t know what to do, she couldn’t flee. She was freaking out though. How does a cat tell a human to leave them alone?

_Oh. Duh._

Marinette hissed and swiped at one of his arms. She maybe forgot to extend her claws when she did. That cat thing was hard, okay? Robin wasn’t deterred, and he picked her up with ease, completely ignoring her attempts to escape as her tucked her under his cape and close to his chest. He clearly knew how to handle cats, because Marinette couldn’t figure out how to get away. But also he was warm, and it was dry under his cape, and he was scratching her ears in a way that felt really really nice.

She started purring, which felt really weird, but once she started she couldn’t seem to stop. It didn’t help that Robin was still stroking her fur. He _definitely_ had cat experience. Robin started moving, presumably walking over to Batman and the other man, and Marinette tried to lower the volume of her purring enough to hear what was being said over the rain.

“ _Robin_ ,” Batman said, and Marinette detected an exasperated reprimand in just the one word. She needed to learn how to sound that disapproving just by saying someone’s name. That was the sort of skill that prevented your team from doing stupid things like getting you turned into a cat.

“She was hiding under the air vent, soaked to the bone and absolutely terrified,” Robin said, his tone firm and uncompromising, which was a bit of a departure from the gentle stroking her was doing. “I’m not leaving her out here.”

Batman was silent for a moment, and Marinette got the feeling that they were staring each other down, though she couldn’t see much from under the cape. Eventually Batman sighed. “Fine. Drop her off and meet me at the Steel Mill.”

Robin readjusted her, and Marinette had just enough time to be confused at Batman’s order before Robin was jumping off the roof and firing his grappling hook. Marinette sunk her claws into his arm, holding on for dear life as they swung through the air. Swinging was so much less fun as a passenger. Or maybe it was because she wasn’t a person. Either way she hated this. She hated this so much.

Eventually they landed, and soon after that they were out of the rain too. Marinette still couldn’t see anything, but Robin’s footsteps were echoing on metal as he walked. Now that they were on the ground he started stroking her again, which was nice enough that she didn’t really consider the implications of being catnapped by a vigilante until she heard a woman’s voice.

“You’re back early.”

“I needed to drop someone off,” Robin said, and then the cape was moving and Marinette was being bundled into a towel while trying to take in the weirdest damn room she’d ever seen. “Room” maybe wasn’t even the word, it was more of a cave than anything. A cave filled with a bunch of weirdass shit. She let her eyes roam, taking in the tyrannosaurus rex and the giant penny and the various bat themed vehicles and the _massive_ computer.

“Awwwww,” the woman said, and Marinette’s eyes locked onto a redhead in a wheelchair who was sitting in front of the computer. She wasn’t wearing a mask. Marinette didn’t know who this woman was, but she had a sinking feeling that she was about to learn the identities of Batman and Robin, and possibly of everyone else in their operation to boot. _Merde._ “Where’d you find this cutie?”

“She was on the roof of the police station,” Robin said, scratching her ears in a way that made it very difficult to focus. She felt the purr coming back before she heard it. She was never going to get used to that.

“In this weather? Poor thing,” the woman said, carefully reaching out a hand to her. She stopped with her fingers just in front of Marinette’s nose, like she was waiting for something. Was Marinette supposed to sniff her? What did cats do when they met new people? Heck, she’d never been around cats. Plagg didn’t count. She settled for leaning forward enough to make contact, and she guessed that was the right thing to do, because suddenly the woman was petting her too. “She’s very friendly. What are you gonna call her?”

“I’m not sure yet,” Robin answered. “I figured I’d wait until after we deal with Black Mask. Will you watch her?”

“I would love to,” the woman said, carefully taking hold of her when Robin passed her over. If not for being wrapped in a towel Marinette might have been able to escape, but as it was she couldn’t get out in time before she was firmly secured in a lap. _Dammit_.

Robin left, and Marinette tried to take stock of her situation. She was pretty sure Robin was trying to adopt her. She was in Batman’s secret hideout. She had now seen the face of one of Batman’s associates, and if Robin succeeded in the adoption thing she was likely to see more unmasked vigilantes in her near future. She had no way of knowing what her friends were doing, or how close they were to finding her, but when she focused her energies she could feel numerous magical protections that would make locating her significantly more difficult.

Marinette wanted to groan in frustration, but the woman was still scratching her ears, and she was warm, and she was _so completely exhausted_ . She really hadn’t meant to fall asleep, but it ended up happening anyway. She wasn’t sure how long she slept for, but she woke up to the sound of voices. _Loud_ , excited, obnoxious voices.

“Merr?”

“Hey there sweetheart, you waking up?” Marinette peeked open an eye at the woman and got more scratches for her trouble. This was nice. Why would she even need to get up? Couldn’t she just sleep forever? She closed her eyes and rolled over for more pets.

“Is that the cat Demon Spawn picked up?” said another voice, and Marinette’s eyes shot open as she was faced with an unfamiliar, unmasked guy with a giant red bat on his chest. “Oh shit, look at her eyes. No wonder B let you keep her.”

 _Merde._ Marinette was jolted back into the reality of her situation. She had been catnapped by Robin! And what did he _mean,_ what did her eyes have to do with anything? “Mrow!”

“I don’t think she likes your tone, Jason,” said the red haired woman, laughing as she scratched Marinette’s head.

“Clearly she has good taste,” Robin said, then lifted Marinette into his arms. On the bright side, this freed her of the towel. On the downside, she now had an unobstructed view of everyone in the room, everyone being Batman and his associates, though thankfully she didn’t recognize those who had removed their masks so far.

“If that were true she wouldn’t like you either,” Jason said, rolling his eyes but walking away. Another man walked up to fawn over her, this one in a black suit with a blue bird. _Nightwing?_

“Awwww, she’s so cute!” he said, his voice going straight into nonsense baby talk English that Marinette didn’t understand at all. She let him pet her though. She was really liking the petting part of being a cat, maybe too much. It made it hard to focus. “She can be our very own Bat Kitty!”

Marinette jerked in surprise, a move Robin must have interpreted as her wanting to be let go, because he dropped her. She twisted around in an attempt to land correctly, and she thought she did a mostly good job of it. Being a cat was hard, okay? Don’t judge her.

“No way, Dick, she’s not _nearly_ broody enough to be a bat,” said the redheaded woman. “She’s much too sweet for that.”

Marinette started to wander as Dick and the red haired woman, soon identified as Babs, argued about what levels of broodiness were acceptable for a bat to display. Batman himself looked rather resigned to the whole thing, so she wandered toward the computer chair he had settled in. She wondered if he’d be able to pick up that she wasn’t really a cat. Supposedly, he was the world’s greatest detective.

She sat down in front of him, watching him with what she could only hope was unnatural intelligence for a feline. “Mrow.”

He bent down to scratch her ears. “Good kitty.”

Then he turned back to his computer, not paying her any mind at all. _Dammit._ “Mrow!”

Batman continued to ignore her. Clearly her behavior was still within the realm of normal cat stuff. She would have to try harder if she was going to warn them before they totally blew their identities. She turned away from Batman, instead scanning the room again. What could she do to show them that she wasn’t really a cat? _This would probably be easier if I knew more about cats._

She moved over to their medbay, spying a roll of bandages on the table. Perhaps she could spell something out to let them know she was human? She jumped up to the table, suddenly very glad that she’d gotten so much jumping practice earlier. She grabbed the bandages and jumped back down, then set about trying to unsecure the roll, a surprisingly difficult task without the use of opposable thumbs. 

Marinette had just gotten the roll unwound when she was snatched up again. “That’s not for you, little trouble maker.”

Marinette turned to glare at whoever had picked her up, spying the as yet uncompromised Red Robin, then started trying to wriggle out of his grasp. “ _Mrow_!”

“Are you sure she’s too sweet for a bat, Barbie? She seems like a demon cat to me,” Jason said, watching with amusement as Red Robin handed her off to regular Robin. _That’s so confusing._

“Damian, take her upstairs before she gets into something actually dangerous,” Batman said.

“Of course, Father,” Robin, _Damian_ , said. At this point there were only three people in the room whose names she didn’t know, and if they brought her upstairs? Who knew what compromising information she’d find. She needed to stop this.

She twisted and hissed and kicked up as much fuss as she could, forcing Robin to drop her and thus allowing her to sprint off. Jason was laughing. “See? Demon cat!”

Marinette crawled under a shelving unit for various Bat gizmos, pressing herself as far back as she could. The shelf was bolted to the wall and it was long enough that she could escape from any arms that tried to grab her. She was safe for the moment, which meant she had time to regroup and plan.

She focused on everything she knew about cats, which unfortunately was mostly all funny videos on the internet. Probably wouldn’t help her much to re-enact those. Although...maybe if she could get to a computer they’d let her type on it? And if she could type, she could explain that she wasn’t a cat! But would she be able to actually get to a computer before being snatched up again?

Dick appeared in front of the shelf, lying on the floor to make eye contact with her. “C’mere Bat Kitty. Here kitty kitty.”

Marinette hissed at him. 

“I’m pretty sure that counts as a rejection of the name Bat Kitty,” Babs said. “Catbird it is!”

Marinette hissed again, louder this time. 

“I don’t think Demon Cat likes either of your name suggestions,” Jason said with clear amusement in his voice. When Marinette hissed for a third time he full on laughed. 

“Maybe she’s just sick of being grabbed?” Red Robin offered. Marinette meowed. “Huh. Did she just confirm my question?”

Dick jumped up, and Damian took his place. “Don’t be ridiculous, Drake, she’s a cat.”

Marinette hissed, and Damian’s brow knit in confusion and hurt. She felt bad about that, actually, he seemed like a sweet kid, but this was the closest she’d gotten all night to communication and she wasn’t about to mess that up.

“Cat, can you understand us? Meow twice for yes,” Red Robin (Drake?) said. Marinette meowed twice.

“No fucking way,” Jason said. “That cat did not just play into your sleep deprived bullshit.”

She hissed again.

“Cat, is this sleep deprived bullshit? Meow twice for yes, once for no,” Drake said. She meowed once, and the cave exploded into noise. Damian even sat up in surprise.

“Tim, you’re a genius,” Dick said. “And apparently so is Damian’s cat. This is so cool, we could totally make her internet famous.”

_What._

She meowed once, in a tone that she hoped made clear her displeasure with that idea, but she didn’t think anyone was listening. They were too busy arguing about what to call the YouTube channel they were going to make for her. _Ugh._

Marinette crept forward a bit, now that they were all distracted, and took in everyone’s positions in the room. Batman was still at their computer, and if she was fast she thought she could get to him before anyone else even realized she was moving. The others were still deep in conversation about social media channel names, so she took her chance and _ran_.

She managed to get into Batman’s lap unhindered, and from there she carefully started batting at the keyboard, doing her best to tap out her message, _I am human._

“Oh my _god_ look at her typing! Look at her little paws!” a blonde girl, Batgirl, she thought, suddenly squealed. “She thinks she’s people, that’s so cute!”

Marinette meowed twice for yes, but Batgirl was still fawning and the others had joined her and nobody seemed to hear it. Then Batman picked her up and handed her to Robin, who made sure to hold her much more securely this time. “Upstairs.”

Marinette hissed in protest, but was ignored. Batman started backspacing her message without reading it, and while it hadn’t been completely typo free she had hoped that it would get her point across, if someone only _looked at it_. Marinette was very near just giving up and letting the bats out themselves. At this point she didn’t know what else she could do to stop the inevitable. 

Still, she kept up a steady stream of hissing and squirming as she was carried toward an elevator, Batgirl following behind and laughing. For a family of detectives they sure were a selectively observant bunch. Her obvious displeasure did nothing to stop Damian’s progress though, and soon enough they were exiting the elevator and entering a new room through a grandfather clock. 

The new room was an office, and a very fancy looking one at that. Honestly, the contents of this one room made Chloé’s apartment look cheap by comparison. She was pretty sure the desk alone was worth more than the entire contents of her own home. Thinking it over, it certainly made sense that Batman was stupidly rich, but she really didn’t want to think about how much closer that information put her to figuring out his identity. 

Unfortunately she tried to distract herself by looking around the room some more, which led to her spotting the overly large family portrait hanging above the fireplace. She recognized many of the people in it, having just seen most of them unmasked. Below the painting was a plaque with the words “Wayne Family” engraved on it, but she would have recognized the man standing in the center of the painting regardless. Bruce Wayne was Batman. _Merde._

Marinette slumped in defeat. She knew who Batman and his associates were now, and there was nothing she could do to change that. 

“Aw, she looks so sad now,” Batgirl said, frowning. Then she brightened. “She must have really liked the Batcave.”

Marinette didn’t have it in her to respond. Damian rolled his eyes. “Doubtful, Brown. She’s likely just tired of dealing with people.”

Well, she certainly was tired. 

“Where are you gonna set her up for the night?” Brown asked, seeming entirely too invested in the answer. Marinette was too though. “It’ll be a bit before you can introduce her to your other pets, right?”

“Correct,” Robin said, frowning. “I’m not sure. I don’t know how she’d behave if left unsupervised, but if I displace Titus and Alfred the cat from my room they’ll be upset.”

“She can stay in my room with me?” Brown suggested, looking very hopeful. Marinette considered for a moment; if she was going to be watched she likely wouldn’t be able to make any escape attempts, but it didn’t sound like being left alone would be an option. Brown seemed likely to pay attention to her though, so maybe she could get a message to the girl? Marinette meowed twice, and Brown gasped softly. 

“Fine,” Damian said, leaving the room with Brown close behind him. “But I need to make sure that your room is cat safe first.”

“Sure!” Brown said, grinning brightly. “It’s very important that this little cutie is kept safe.”

Marinette huffed at the baby talk. She’d never realized how demeaning that was until it was directed at her. Maybe to actual animals it was nice? Brown kept up a steady stream of nonsense that Marinette decided to tune out. She didn’t start listening again until Damian snapped, “Have you no dignity?”

“Nope!” Brown said cheerily. Marinette might have laughed if she weren’t a cat. They finally reached Brown’s bedroom, and Damian scanned the room with a frown before setting Marinette down on the bed. Marinette sat quietly and focused on her own inspection of the space. It was a fairly standard bedroom for a teenage girl, all told. Brown had a laptop, but after Marinette’s last attempt at typing she wasn’t so sure it would do her any good.

“Make sure to pack up your power cords, just in case she tries to chew on them,” Damian said, and Brown nodded and packed up her electronics. He went around the whole room, pointing out different things that Marinette could theoretically get into. Cats were much higher maintenance than Marinette had realized. Maybe Plagg wasn’t so different from an actual cat after all.

By the time Damian left, Marinette didn’t think she had any options for communicating unless Brown started asking questions. Sadly, Brown did _not_ talk to her in any useful way, and instead alternated between more baby talk and silence while she got ready for bed. Marinette gave up on getting anything useful done that night and instead curled into a ball to go to sleep.

When she woke up again it was late afternoon, judging by the sunlight, and Brown was sitting at her desk, laptop open and playing music while the girl did homework. The thought made Marinette wince while thinking of her own homework. She would have such a mess of work to get back to after this. She needed to get home.

Marinette hopped up and walked over to Brown, meowing to get her attention. The blonde smiled at her. “Well good morning, Sleeping Beauty. Are you a hungry kitty?”

Her stomach grumbled as if on cue, and Brown scooped her up and carried her out of the room. They wound up in the kitchen, and Marinette was set on the countertop while Brown set about making her food. An elderly man walked into the kitchen not a moment later, and sighed at the sight of her. 

“Miss Stephanie, please don’t let the cats up on the countertops. It’s unsanitary,” he said. Stephanie turned and gave him a sheepish look, and Marinette jumped down from the countertop and walked over to the man. He raised an eyebrow. 

“Sorry Alfred, I just didn’t want her to get into anything,” she said. “Damian’s trusting me to look after her, and I don’t want to get stabbed because she got into a fight with Titus or something.”

“I understand,” Alfred said, still watching Marinette as she watched him. This man knew something was up. “Where exactly did Master Damian find her again?”

“On the roof of the police station,” Stephanie said, returning to her task of getting Marinette food. “Poor thing got stuck in the rain.”

“She doesn’t behave much like a stray,” Alfred said, “Have you notified the local shelters of a lost cat? She may have family looking for her.”

Marinette meowed twice, _and_ dipped her head in her best imitation of a nod. Alfred’s eyes widened a bit. _Finally._

“I’ll make a flyer and post it online,” Stephanie said, then turned back to her with a bowl of cat food and unseasoned chicken. She set it down directly in front of Marinette, and Marinette couldn’t help but recoil a bit. She might have been in need of food, but did she really need it badly enough to eat _cat food_? Her stomach growled again, and she decided that yes, she did need it that badly.

“Have you noticed any odd behavior from her?” Alfred asked.

“Not really? I mean, she caused a little bit of trouble in the Batcave last night, but it all seemed normal enough to me,” Stephanie said. “Oh my gosh, she even tried to copy Bruce working at the Batcomputer, it was _so_ adorable. His face at that moment will live rent free in my head forever.”

“Interesting. Perhaps she has a fondness for keyboards?” Alfred suggested. Marinette stopped eating to meow twice. “Is there some sort of significance to her double meow?”

“I don’t know about _real_ significance, but Tim made a comment about it meaning yes last night,” Stephanie said. Alfred gave her an incredulous look, which Marinette mirrored perfectly. 

“Has it occurred to you as odd that she seems to be consistently confirming questions with this two meow signal?” Marinette meowed once, and Alfred looked back at her. “Only one? Is that no, Miss Stephanie has not noticed?”

Marinette meowed twice. _Finally_. She didn’t know who Alfred was but he was officially the only competent associate of Batman.

“What the fuck,” Stephanie whispered, looking at Marinette with a mix of awe and horror. “She like, actually understands, doesn’t she?”

Marinette meowed twice. Alfred rolled his eyes, “Language, Miss Stephanie.”

“Sorry,” Stephanie said, still watching Marinette. “Is she like, even a cat?”

“Meow.”

“It would seem not,” Alfred said. 

“Are you an alien?” Stephanie asked, eyes wide. Marinette meowed once. “A genetically modified experiment gone wrong?”

Marinette meowed again, then looked at Stephanie judgmentally. Alfred sighed. “Perhaps this would go faster if we brought her to a computer?”

“Right!” Stephanie said, then looked horrified again. “Oh, crap, she was probably trying to tell us something with the Batcomputer last night.”

Marinette meowed twice. Alfred led the way out of the kitchen, Marinette and Stephanie close behind. “Perhaps that’s a sign that you should all brush up on your detective skills.”

Marinette meowed twice again, and Stephanie made an offended gasp. “I can’t believe I’m being insulted by the not-cat.”

Marinette hissed, but kept following Alfred until they reached a library with a desktop. She jumped onto the desk while Stephanie opened up a word document. “Alright not-cat, reveal your secrets.”

Marinette rolled her eyes, but then set about typing up her explanation slowly and carefully. When she was finished Stephanie gave a low whistle. “And I thought my life was weird.”

“I believe a call to Mr. Constantine may be in order,” Alfred said. “Don’t worry, Miss Marinette, we’ll have you returned to human form soon.”

Marinette really hoped that he was right. After all, she still needed to get revenge on Chloé and Félix, and while she could _maybe_ accomplish that as a cat, it would be so much more satisfying if she could do it as a person instead. When she was done with them they would be _begging_ to get along together.


End file.
